This question always makes me pause, not because it’s offensive, but because it reveals how narrowly fun has been defined.
Somewhere along the way, fun became synonymous with drinking, partying, staying out late, and losing control just enough to feel something. So when someone opts out of that, especially visibly, people assume something must be missing.
The reality is much simpler.
Of course I can have fun.
I just don’t outsource joy to intoxication.
There is so much that is not haram that brings real pleasure and aliveness.
For me, it’s adult coloring books, traveling, going to the beach to watch sunsets and sunrises, road trips in the RV, picnics, nature walks, amusement parks, museums, watching films, decorating my home, having deep conversations, playing video games and VR, painting while sipping mocktails.
Dancing in my home, family game night, learning about other cultures, botanical gardens, bath rituals, yoga, watching comfort shows, laughing with people I love, these are the fun activities I love to do now as a Muslim, and that’s enough for me.
People often assume I must be hurting because I don’t drink or party anymore. As if something was taken from me. As if I’m quietly grieving a life I’m no longer allowed to live. But that assumption skips over one very important detail: I chose this.
No one forced me into Islam. No one pressured me, controlled me, or stripped anything away. I made a conscious decision to become Muslim because it aligned with me, long before anyone else had an opinion about it. I’m not deprived, I’m intentional.
Before I became Muslim, I was already bored of drinking and partying. Not in a judgmental way, just in an I’ve been here before way. The cycle started to feel predictable, and honestly, empty. I don’t miss it one bit.
If those things sound boring to you, I honestly don’t know what to tell you. That doesn’t sound like a lack of fun to me, it sounds like a lack of depth.
Do I ever miss a music festival? Sure. There’s something electric about live music, being outdoors, feeling sound move through your body. That part, I get. But the rest, the drinking, the chaos, the aftermath, the numbness, I don’t miss any of that at all.
And that’s the part people don’t always understand.
Choosing not to drink or party isn’t about restriction. It’s about alignment. It’s about realizing that not everything labeled as fun actually feels good long-term.
Fun doesn’t have to mean escaping yourself.
Sometimes it means finally being with yourself.
So yes, Muslim women can have fun.
We just don’t all need the same things to feel alive.
And maybe that’s the part that’s hardest for people to accept.
Honestly, Vanessa 