Spiritual harm does not always come from abandoning faith.
Sometimes it comes from faith being used improperly.
Spiritual abuse typically involves sustained control, isolation, and the use of God or religious authority to shame, silence, or threaten.
In some Islamic contexts, spiritual abuse does not always take the form of forcing religion onto someone. Sometimes it appears as using Allah as a tool for control.
This can include telling a husband telling his wife not to pray until she makes up with him, on the grounds that his anger renders her prayers invalid or unacceptable.
Framing abuse as a “test from Allah” that must be tolerated, rather than acknowledging that injustice and harm are explicitly condemned in Islamic ethics.
When divine acceptance is made conditional on appeasing another human being, faith is no longer being used as guidance. It becomes a mechanism of intimidation.
Spiritual manipulation, occurs when religious beliefs are weaponized to control another person’s behavior, decisions, or sense of safety. This is often relies on fear, not faith.
In some Christian contexts, this can show up as fear-based messaging around hell, salvation, or marriage. For example, telling a partner that leaving a marriage will condemn them to hell, or insisting they must remain married because divorce makes them spiritually unclean or unworthy of remarriage.
Both can be deeply harmful.
When religion is framed as something that punishes instead of guides, it creates a psychological trap. The person is no longer making choices freely, they are acting under perceived spiritual threat. Hell becomes leverage. God becomes a weapon. Marriage becomes a cage rather than a covenant.
This kind of fear-based control does not foster devotion, repentance, or growth. It fosters anxiety, guilt, and paralysis.
Healthy faith traditions, including Christianity, emphasize conscience, accountability, mercy, and personal responsibility. They allow space for discernment, repentance, and complex human realities. When those principles are replaced with rigid ultimatums, threats of damnation, or moral blackmail, the faith itself becomes distorted.
True spirituality should ground a person, not terrify them.
It should bring clarity, not confusion.
Conviction, not coercion.
Honestly, Vanessa 