I recently learned that Yoga is where my body feel safest. I move through different styles, looking for grounding, strength, balance, something that makes me feel more at home in my body.
Hot yoga pulls me in first of course. The heat feels incredible. My muscles finally relax. For an hour, my body lets go in a way it rarely does. I walk out loose, calm, almost euphoric. It feels like healing.
So I go back. Twice a week. Sometimes more.
I don’t notice at first what happens after. The relaxation fades quickly. I leave class tired, sometimes shaky in a way I can’t quite explain. Later that night, I feel colder. Thirstier. The next day, I feel flat. I tell myself this is part of the process. Everyone else seems fine. Yoga is good for you. If it feels hard, that means it’s working.
I keep pushing.
The yogas that look the most impressive, the fastest flows, the sweatiest classes, the ones that burn and challenge me, leave me feeling more depleted afterward. My body tightens right back up within hours. Sometimes worse than before. My sleep feels lighter. My appetite feels off. Anxiety creeps in quietly, without an obvious reason.
Then there are the other classes. The ones I almost skip because they look boring.
Yin yoga doesn’t look like much from the outside. Long holds. Stillness. Silence. But something different happens here. My body softens without force. I don’t feel wrung out afterward. I feel heavy in a good way, like my nervous system finally exhales.
Restorative yoga feels indulgent at first. Blankets. Bolsters. A part of me thinks this can’t possibly be enough. But I sleep better on these nights. My jaw unclenches. My body doesn’t rebound into tension the next day.
I’ve also been getting into speciality forms of yoga like aerial and acro yoga. I fell in love with aerial yoga, but not with acro because it made me more nervous and tense lol it’s very interesting and feels less like a workout and more performative
But back to aerial yoga, there’s something about being held by the fabric that feels different. Supported. My body doesn’t have to carry its full weight. My spine decompresses. I float, I wrap, I invert, and for once, movement feels playful instead of punishing. It’s very relaxing and you can engage your core too. I go twice a week. I often leave class feeling more confident and light.
I just notice how I feel after. Some practices leave me steadier. Others leave me needing to recover from my recovery.
So I’ve been transitioning with the different practices. Less heat. Less intensity. More slowness. More practices that don’t ask me to prove anything.
Yoga stops being about pushing my body into something it isn’t. It becomes a quiet conversation. One where my body responds best when it feels warm without strain, supported without effort, and allowed to relax without urgency.
And that changes everything.
Honestly, Vanessa 